


You Never Walk Alone

by Betteroffwithart



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Artists, Alternate Universe - Photographer, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-11-20
Packaged: 2018-12-31 05:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12125409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betteroffwithart/pseuds/Betteroffwithart
Summary: Without inspiration and motivation, Carmilla tries to rebuild her life and save the thing she loves the most, painting.Laura wants to be seen, by her dad and maybe even her estranged mother. She believes she can do that by speaking through her photographs.





	1. You Make Me Begin

**Author's Note:**

> Title based off from the album WINGS by BTS :)

You thought you were on your way to finally creating your greatest work, your magnum orpus. Now it seems the white canvas in front of you mirrors your own life, blank.

You try to paint something just to erase the pure nothingness of the canvas. Nothing, your hand doesn’t feel like it’s yours now. Even your body has given up on you, just like everyone else in your life. 

There’s a knock on the door. “What now.” You mutter.

“Carmilla for the love of god come out.” your roommate yells from behind the door. “You’ve been there for a whole day and haven’t eaten anything.” 

Has it been that long already? You realize as you open the door. “Laf I am not eating anything you _cooked_ and by that I meant experimented on.” 

You’ve been friends with Laf since college when they accidentally spilled chemicals on your sketchbook one chemistry class. You would’ve definitely eaten them alive if the effect of their little experiment wasn’t pretty astonishing. It gave your sketches a sort of burnt color but nonetheless it looked really cool. So you kept them in spite of their Frankenstein tendencies. They keep up with your attitude in turn so you think you’re equal now.

“HA HA, I admit I haven’t found the science to perfecting my cooking skills but Danny came over and cooked so if you don’t want to starve to death then let’s go.” They says as they retreat downstairs.

Your tummy grumbles in agreement. Even your internal organs betrayed you. You groan in annoyance as you follow Laf down the stairs out of your studio. 

\--

“Finally, I thought you weren’t ever going to get Rapunzel out of her tower.” Danny jokes as you and Laf enter the kitchen.

“For your information Xena, I never needed any saving.” You tell her as you stalk towards one of the bar stools in your kitchen. You can smell fresh basil and other spices. Danny made her specialty, chicken pesto. 

“Right.” Danny drawls. “’Cause you definitely didn’t need any saving when I helped you get down the tree you climbed because you thought you could _‘paint the view of the city no one has ever seen’_ better huh?”

“Whatever.” You roll your eyes at her narration of how you two met. 

You just wanted to paint an extraordinary view of the city. You just kind of forgot how high you were till you needed to get back down. You would’ve fallen to your death descending the tree till Danny saw you and decided you needed saving. Maybe you did, just a bit though. Your ego would never admit that to her no matter how thankful you were for it.

“Carmilla, everyone knows you’re the princess here.” Laf says matter-of-factly. 

“Can we just shut up and eat dinner now?” Your patience is starting to thin out. You just want to get back to your studio and continue painting. No matter how awful your recent works seem to be. You still try. You think that if you can paint the amazing things you used to create then maybe your life can start fixing itself too.

“How’re the paintings coming along?” Danny asks as she serves her Italian restaurant worthy meal.

“Not the same.” You pick on your pasta as you tell them your recent magnificent failure. 

“I guess even my so called talent has hidden from me.” Now that’s what you call hidden talent, you think to yourself. “I just keep painting shit like I’ve never picked up a brush my entire life.”

“Maybe a new source of inspiration is needed.” Laf suggests.

You feel like breaking your fork. “Maybe I don’t need you to constantly remind me how I lost everything important in my life Laf.” 

“Hey that’s not what I meant, just trying to help here.” 

You know they didn’t mean what you thought but it just frustrates you to no end. You think back to when your family was still whole. When Ell was your muse and life was great. Now they’re gone and you’re just so…lost. At least you still had Laf and Danny you guess.

“I know. I just don’t know where to start. How does one just find inspiration again?”

“I guess you can start by actually getting out of this house. There’s a whole world out there you know.” Danny says as she twirls her pasta on her fork.

She might be right. You decide that it’s time you re-entered society again. The thought itself makes you wanna throw up.

 

//

 

“I give up!” You proclaim as you drop your head onto the bar table. “I can’t find the perfect theme for my exhibit Per.” 

Perry comes back to you after giving a customer their drink. “Oh that’s nonsense. I’m sure there are tons of possible photo-worthy topics out there.” She says as she hands you a cup of hot chocolate.

You’re at the café in town you frequent not just because it was where Perry worked but they also serve the best drinks and baked goods. All courtesy of Perry of course. You also like it here because you love to people watch. It was interesting, how everyone thought they were in their own worlds. You thought that maybe being here would give you inspiration. It was harder than you originally planned.

You look back up and accept the sweet offering. “You are an angel Per, thanks.” You hold the cup and just feel the warmth before taking a sip. “You’re right, there’s a lot of good stuff out there but just not the _perfect_ one. I want this exhibit to be my shining moment. Where the world will actually see me.” 

Or just certain people, like your dad, or your…nevermind. You just want to prove that you’re worth more than anyone has bargained you for.

You remember feeling so ecstatic when you received the call inviting you to present your works at the annual photography exhibit. It meant you had the chance to get noticed. To actually show everyone what a world-class photographer you are. Tons of photography experts, artists, enthusiasts, and so much more will be there.

You have one problem though, you have no idea what to actually photograph. This was the first time you were out of fresh ideas. You needed to find a new perspective. 

“Maybe you could feature the city? I don’t know like hidden beauties of this place.” She says.

“I’ve already done that and I researched the other photographers also participating in the exhibit. They already did that too. What am I going to do? I feel like everything has been done already.” You tell her as you take in a big gulp of your drink.

“Laura, dear, take it easy on that drink, I am not serving you your fourth cup of sugar today. Not to mention you’ve already eaten all the brownies I served you.”

You guiltily place your cup back down on the table. “Sorry.” 

“Just calm your head and wait for it, I’m sure a phenomenal idea will come soon enough.”

“But I can’t, I’ll get nothing if I just wait for it.”

Maybe loading yourself with sugar wasn’t the best plan. But you just really needed it to think. Idea after idea comes up but still not ‘the’ one. Your brain seems to be working double time right now.

“I want to feature something that has never been done, if that’s even possible now in this ‘new is cool’ generation.” 

You’re about to order your fourth cup of chocolate when the bell at the entrance rings signaling a new customer. You look at the new person coming in and just…wow. You think that you’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as this new girl. She had on a leather jacket and, wow, really tight leather pants and, was that a sketchbook? Then you think, wait…

“Hey Per, isn’t that the girl who frequently came in here to sketch?” You ask Perry.

Perry looks at the new girl. “You’re right, it’s Carmilla. But I haven’t seen her come in here in months.”

Carmilla huh. You vividly remember her because well aside from how she looked (like she was formed from clay by a god or she was an actual goddess herself) she usually came in the café to draw or paint anything she deemed interesting. She always carried her sketchbook around and sometimes her portable watercolor set. You never actually saw any of her works though. You also remember that she was usually accompanied by a certain blonde girl who you do not see with her right now.

“I know her friend Su- I mean LaFontaine. She told me something about how Carmilla’s been going through some problems right now. I wonder what brought her here.” You hear Perry say behind you.

For some reason you’re really drawn to this girl. You can’t stop looking at her at all. The girl- Carmilla, finally takes her seat by the window and you just stare. 

Then you notice how she looks out the window with such a blank expression that you wonder what happened to her. You start to watch as the light softens her angles and you look up to her eyes. They seem really hollow that you actually feel your heart ache. You quickly pull out your instant camera from your bag and take a shot of her. 

_‘Snap’_

“Crap!” You totally forgot you camera’s shutter sound. “Please don’t notice please please.” You slowly look back up at the girl and your heart suddenly jumps as you realize she’s looking back at you questioningly with an eyebrow quirking up.

You look away quickly feeling your cheeks warm up. You breathe in slowly and make your heart beat go back to normal. What the hell was that? You thought till you hear footsteps coming in your direction. 

“I’ll get one black coffee please, thank you.” Carmilla tells Perry.

“Sure thing.” Perry says as she retreats to make Carmilla’s drink.

“I know you took a photo of me just now. I just wanted to know what was so interesting you couldn’t take your eyes off of me, aside from my looks of course.” Carmilla tells you smugly as she takes a seat on the bar stool next to you.

“I…uhhh..” You stutter. “Wow pretty full of yourself huh?” You say as you realize what she said at the end.

Carmilla smirks. “I’m not blind so why should I deny anything but cupcake?”

“Well maybe people don’t actually need to be blind to know you’re a really egotistic person.” You bite back.

Her smug smile just broadens at your comment. “Maybe, but how sure are you when you barely know me?”

You think about what she said. She was right. You were judging her from just a few words. And it was true anyway, she is gorgeous. Even you can’t deny that. An idea suddenly jumps from your head and you figuratively light up like a bulb as you look back at Carmilla.

Perry comes back right at that moment and hands Carmilla her drink. She thanks her and looks back at you curiously. “What is suddenly happening to you right now? You look like you just ate a bowl of sunshine.”

“What would you say if I asked you to be my model for my photography exhibit?” You spit out before you lose the nerve.

Carmilla jerks from taking a sip from her drink as you tell her your proposition while Perry turns back and looked delighted.

“That’s a perfect idea!” Perry says at the same time Carmilla asks “Excuse me, what?” 

You think you may have just stumbled on the perfect theme. As you always tell yourself, you get nothing if you just wait for it, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a) I'm an illustrator, this is the first time I've written a story  
> b) I love Hamilton and will have tons of references in the future  
> c) I hope you enjoy this XD


	2. Lost My Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla is still a frustrated artist and Laura's still a ball of sunshine.

“I’m sorry, I think I didn’t get that right.” You say suddenly confused by this cute girl who was staring at you just moments ago like she was so pained by what she was looking at. It made you wonder what she saw to make her appear that way.

“Be my model, please, it’s just that I have this upcoming photography exhibit in like a few months and I’ve been wracking my brain and the city for any good topics but I couldn’t find the perfect one, you know what I mean? And then I just saw you and how you looked like you didn’t care about life in general anymore when I could still vividly remember how full of life you were just a few months ago when you would come in here and paint like it was the most important thing and just…”

“Cupcake, hey, breathe.” You interrupt her before she could hurt herself. You’re honestly surprised at how she could say that whole paragraph without breathing in between. You think she may be a rapper or something.

“I’m really sorry, I just…I ramble when I have strong feelings about something and…” She starts.

You place your hand on her arm in an attempt to bring her back to you. “You’re doing it again.” 

You give her a smile. You haven’t done that in so long, give a genuine smile. 

She obviously looks nervous about this whole thing in general so you forgive her for suddenly blurting that proposition on you without notice.

“So you want me to be your muse for this exhibit thing, is that right?” You ask her.

She slowly nods and looks at you with big brown puppy dog eyes. You actually start to believe she’s part puppy, a really energetic ball of fluff. You tell yourself you’re more of a cat person though. Yeah keep telling yourself that.

“I would really love to have you as my subject. I can’t explain why but there’s something about you, maybe it’s your fashion sense, wait definitely not that, I don’t know.” She says really quickly again. You swear that anything she rambles can be made into a rap if you just played a beat while she talked.

“Thank you for the compliment cupcake.” You smirk at her again.

“What? I didn’t…that’s not what I…uggghhh.” She groans. “You are infuriating!”

“I get that a lot, doesn’t change the fact that you right out called me astonishingly gorgeous.” You bite back your grin. You’re having too much fun teasing this girl.

She suddenly flails her arms in the air. “Not my exact words! But okay, fine, you are, back to my question. Do you agree? Please?” 

You sigh. You’ve been in tons of situations like this before. But you were always the one asking if you could sketch or paint _them_. Never had anyone actually asked you to be their model. Which you now realize, wow, rude? How come no one ever asked you that before?

“Well, first of all let me tell you how surprising that proposition was when I don’t even know your name?” You tell her instead.

“Ohh! Yeah! I’m Laura.” She extends her hand for a handshake.

“Carmilla.” You weakly shake her hand. You kind of feel exhausted already. You haven’t had much social interaction in this caliber since you locked yourself in your studio three months ago. Not to mention that it feels like you’re talking to the physical form of energy.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… my mind always runs at a hundred miles per hour you know?” 

“It’s alright, I’m not used to people these… days.” Months you wanted to say but no need to mention that. 

“Anyway, I feel very flattered that you want me to be your model but could you maybe give me time to think about it?” You say.

There wouldn’t be actual harm if you agreed but then you were still trying to get your life back together. That and being photographed by a stranger (no matter how cute) was going to be pretty challenging.

“Ohh definitely! You can think about it.” She then takes out a sticky note pad from her bag and jots something down.

“Here, call me when you’ve decided.” She hands you the piece of paper with her mobile number written on it.

“Will do.” You look back up at her then.

“Well, okay then, bye!” She suddenly squeaks as she stands abruptly and runs out the door just like that.

“That was the strangest encounter I’ve ever had.” You tell no one in particular. And you’ve had a _lot_ of strange things happen in your life. Just nothing like that at all.

You get out of your house for just half an hour and this happens. You wonder what’ll occur in just one week. A lot. Probably concerning an alarming number of blank canvases again and maybe soft big brown eyes that convey warmth and so much more... You stop yourself from that thought. Nope. Not going there. You tell yourself as you walk out of the coffee shop. Time to continue plan ‘Get Your Life Back together.’ You get a feeling this wouldn’t be fun at all.

 

\--

 

You huff in frustration as you try to capture the setting sun in front of you. You’re in your usual sketching spot on a bench atop a hill. You love it here. It’s like your secret alcove. A few people come up here because of the slight hike up the hill.

“Why can’t I get this orange right!” It’s always been this way since your life fell apart a few months ago. Like you don’t know your body anymore. Your hand doesn’t follow your commands precisely. 

It’s getting darker. The sun is almost hidden from the earth again. You love this time of the day. When the night meets daylight. This happens at dawn too during the sunrise but then you’re usually not awake at that time.

You put your sketch pad and pastel crayons down on the bench and just stare up and watch the display of lights till it turns dark. You feel like that girl, Laura, is very much like the day with how she abruptly ran away from you and you couldn’t do anything about it. You shake your head. This girl suddenly invaded your thoughts without permission again. “Thanks brain, just proving my point further.”

But then you think you do need to take a break from all this unproductive behavior anyway. And maybe you’re just interested in studying a certain someone’s eyes, those soft browns with golden flecks. Yeap, it’s purely for art, studying for art. You tell yourself that.

So you retrieve the piece of paper from your pocket and type in a message on your phone. 

“Let’s get this over with.”

 

//

 

 

You watch in anticipation as you hang up the last photograph you developed on a string. Manual developing of film always took time but you love the tedious work. Your dad taught you how to do this when you were younger. You remember the first film camera you got. It was from your mother. You bite your lower lip at that thought. 

“Nope, no tearing up with old memories.” You mutter to yourself. That doesn’t stop you from thinking of the old camera hidden in your cabinet though. You shake yourself of that thought as you exit your red room and into the living room.

“Hey L, how’re the photographs doing?” Kirsch asks you from where he sat on the couch.

“They’re coming along, just gotta wait a few more hours.” You say as you plant yourself ungracefully on the couch next to him.

Kirsch offers you a pack of gummy bears and you light up at the sight of them. 

“Ohmygawd gummybears!” You thank him as you bite off the gummybear’s head off first then eat the rest. It’s a habit you picked up when you were a kid. You have an overprotective father who always warned you about bears (he still sends you a pack of bearspray monthly) so one time you wanted to prove to him that you could handle bears on your own. You remember walking up to him with a gummybear and bit its head off like a tiger and your dad just chuckled and carried you up ruffling your hair.

Kirsch chuckles beside you. “Well you looked like you had a pretty rough day so.”

You smile at him and continue eating the delicious treat. You’re thankful you have Kirsch in your life. No one would have ever guessed that the two of you would be bestfriends (or best bros as Kirsch liked to call you two). 

“Kind of, I guess.” You think back to the day and how you ran off from Carmilla just like that. You were just really nervous already asking a girl like _Carmilla_ to be your model (I mean come on) that after you two settled things all you could do was bolt. You’ve never ran that fast in your life thinking about it now.

“I feel like I just proposed to someone.” You cover your face as you narrate to Kirsch the happenings earlier today.

“Wow L, I mean I know you said she was hot but are you sure you want to marry her that fast?” He asks.

“Seriously Kirsch? That’s all you got from what I said? That she was hot?”

“Laura you were seriously gushing about how gorgeous this girl was for like ten minutes. What else did you expect me to comprehend from all that?” 

“Wha-…“ Your mouth drops then closes and opens like a goldfish from disbelief. This guy. You puff your cheeks and look pointedly at him.

“Okay, okay I’ll stop.” He raises his hands in surrender.

You release the breath you’ve been holding. “She just really caught my attention okay?” 

“And I don’t only mean because of her looks.” You quickly add before Kirsch tries to prove his point further.

“She just looked really… lost. Like she didn’t know what to do next. I saw and felt all that by just looking at her.” You remember how she was looking out the window with such a blank expression. 

“And at that exact moment, I had the strongest urge to take a photo of her then and there. I felt like I was magnetized to her.”

“You were always such an empathetic person though. I can see why you chose her.” Kirsch softens. 

You smile at that. “I really hope she’ll agree. And that I didn’t scare her away with my weirdness.”

“Trust me when I say your so called weirdness is actually very endearing.” You hope Carmilla thought the same way.

“I could say the same thing to you.” You smirk. “Thanks for listening Kirsch.”

“Anytime tiny nerd hottie.”

“Kirsch I thought we both agreed you’d never call me that ever again?” You say as you grab a pillow and lift it over his head.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He laughs as you continue your pillow assault.

 

\--

 

You wake up to your phone vibrating on your desk. You didn’t realize you fell asleep. You groggily look around your apartment. Kirsch has gone home and you’re left alone. You feel the vibration again. Oh right, your phone.

 

**Unknown Number:**  
_Hey, it’s me Carmilla_

**Unknown Number:**  
_About the model thing? I’ll do it_

 

You look at your phone in disbelief. She actually agreed. 

“Holy Helga Hufflepuff she said yes!” You say out loud. Your phone vibrates with a new message again.

 

**Carmilla:**  
_Cupcake? Are you awake?_

 

Ohh right you haven’t replied yet.

 

**Laura:**  
_!!!!!_

**Laura:**  
_ASKFJFHJEHFJ!!!_

**Carmilla:**  
_Is this a new language I’ve never heard of or am I talking to an alien here?_

**Laura:**  
_OHMYGAWD YOU SAID YES!_

**Carmilla:**  
_Whoa there creampuff, I only agreed to being your model not your fiancé_

**Laura:**  
_HA HA, believe me this is as exciting as being proposed to_

**Carmilla:**  
_I would never know, no one actually agreed to my proposal before_

 

That makes you pause. You reread her message.

 

**Laura:**  
_Wait what? You proposed to someone????_

**Carmilla:**  
_Nevermind, anyways yes cupcake, I’ll be your model_

**Laura:**  
_!!!! Thank you thank you!!!!_

**Carmilla:**  
_Alright, you can just update me about the plan tomorrow morning_

**Carmilla:**  
_And by morning I meant late afternoon_

 

You roll your eyes at that. Of course you never pegged Carmilla as a morning person in the first place.

 

**Laura:**  
_Aye aye captain!_

**Carmilla:**  
_Please tell me you’re not doing an actual salute right now_

**Laura:**  
_How did you???_

**Laura:**  
_Whatever good night Carm! :)))_

**Carmilla:**  
_Good night cupcake_

 

You hug your phone to your chest and squeal in delight. You can picture your exhibit now. It’s all coming together. Finally. You think about how important this exhibit is and you just can’t stop smiling. You remember your father telling you once that you would ‘someday blow us all away’.  
This time for sure, you’re not going to throw away your shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that! Also I always really have fun adding in Hamilton references in this. Aaaand I haven't actually tried manually developing film before but I've watched some do it and they like to jokingly call their developing room the red room. 
> 
> Hope to see you on the next chapter!


	3. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carmilla and Laura do some bonding with maybe a cup of insight :)

You carefully take apart the camera in front of you and begin cleaning it with a brush. The body first then the lens. You enjoy keeping your cameras in shape. It keeps you preoccupied. 

“There we go.” You reassemble the camera again and proudly look at your work. “You’re all good Eliza.” Yes, you name your cameras. 

Your dad used to let you to help him clean his cameras back then too (of course you named all his cameras as well). He was always very careful and meticulous with them, the same way he was with you. It always made you upset, how he would treat you like a very fragile vintage camera that would break once it fell. Maybe you did break when your mother left but you were able to reconstruct yourself again. You’re a perfectly working camera again that can withstand anything it’s faced with. 

You look out your window and try out Eliza. The sun was still about to rise. Yeah, you’re a morning person. There’s something really beautiful about it, being awake before everyone else. That moment in time you can call yours because it feels like you’re the only one awake to witness it. 

You start capturing the sunrise. You adjust Eliza’s manual settings, exposure, shutter speed…perfect. You look at the LCD screen and playback the shots you took. “Another perfect shot Laura.” You admire how the flawless colors, especially that orange. 

You then start to wonder who else was awake with you right now. If Carmilla was up… “Probably not.” You mutter. She did tell you her mornings were practically late afternoons. So of course you grab your phone and start typing a text to wake up a certain snarky someone. 

 

**Laura:**  
_GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!!!_

**Laura:**  
_IT’S TIME TO RISE UP!_

 

“Yeap, she’s definitely asleep.” You grin at the thought of what you’re about to do.

 

**Laura:**  
_WHEN YOU’RE LIVIN ON YOUR KNEES YOU RISE UP!_

**Laura:**  
_TELL YOUR BROTHER THAT HE’S GOTTA RISE UP!_

**Laura:**  
_TELL YOUR SISTER THAT SHE’S GOTTA RISE UP!_

**Laura:**  
_WHEN ARE THESE COLONIES GONNA RISE UP!_

**Carmilla:**  
_CUPCAKE STOP_

**Carmilla:**  
_Oh my god Laura it’s only 6:30 in the morning_

**Carmilla:**  
_Cupcake I swear to god_

**Laura:**  
_RISE UP! RISE UP!_

**Carmilla:**  
_I feel like you’re shouting this from the rooftop stop!_

**Laura:**  
_I KNEW IT! You got my Hamilton reference didn’t you???_

**Carmilla:**  
_Cupcake, you literally lyric spammed me the whole song_

**Laura:**  
_Yeah but not even Kirsch knows Hamilton whenever I reference it!_

**Carmilla:**  
_Okay yes I’ve listened to Hamilton, now can you please leave me be? There’s still more Zs to catch_

**Laura:**  
_That is if you can still get back to sleep :^)_

 

You patiently wait for Carmilla’s reply. It comes 10 minutes later. You grin in anticipation.

 

**Carmilla:**  
_I hate you so much right now, time and place_

**Carmilla:**  
_Come on we don’t got all day cupcake_

**Laura:**  
_9am at the coffee shop? :))_

**Carmilla:**  
_Fine._

 

You set your phone back down and go on to preparing for the day. This was going to be fun.

 

//

 

You take a sip of your coffee, black, very black like your soul right now. You swear if Laura was here you probably would have strangled her. 

“Holy Benjamin Franklin! You scared me!” Laf says gripping their chest at the kitchen entrance.

You raise your eyebrow at them and continue drinking your coffee.

“What are you doing up this early? I thought someone broke into the house.” They say.

You roll your eyes. “Alexander Hamilton woke me up.”

Laf looks at you questioningly as they grab a cup of their own.

“Laura lyric spammed me with Hamilton lyrics and I couldn’t get back to sleep.” You sigh in frustration at the thought.

Laf then starts to laugh really hard.

“It’s not funny Laf.” You warn them.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” They say as they continue to laugh. “Laura as in photographer girl?”

You nod. “Who is also apparently an annoying pain in the ass.”

“Ohh come on, you should actually thank her.”

You look at them questioningly. “And why the hell should I thank her?”

“Well she made you get your butt up at seven AM for the first time in six months.”

“Correction, it was six AM.”

“Proving my point further. At least you’re not locking yourself up in your room or studio wasting your day away.” They tell you as they start making toast.

“Fine, maybe, but I still want to strangle her.” 

“Sure you do, even though whenever you look into her eyes you feel _helpless?_ ” Laf actually sings to you.

“I did not say that! I just said her eyes were interesting in an artist perspective.” They really were though. Maybe you could see the sky in them too. Okay what is wrong with you?

“Right, right.” Laf drones.

“Shut up and feed me already will you.” 

Laf just laughs and hums Helpless while making your toast. “Someone kill me now.”

 

\--

 

Laura was already sitting in one of the café’s booths when you enter the shop. She spots you instantly and waves at you. You sigh and walk in her direction.

“Hey! You’re actually on time! I wasn’t expecting that.” Laura tells you as you take a seat across her.

“I’m not in the best mood right now after _someone_ woke me up at an ungodly hour.” You squint your eyes at her.

“Ohh come on, it wasn’t even that early!”

“It is in my books sweetheart.” 

“Fine, here I got you this as my apology.” She slides a chocolate chip cookie in your direction. You notice part of it was already eaten. You raise an eyebrow at her.

“Okay maybe I wasn’t originally planning on giving it to you, but hey I’m sorry I woke you up.”

You sigh. “We can put that behind us now.” You tell her as you take a bite from the cookie. “So, what’s the plan for today?”

“Well, I actually wanted this day to be spontaneous, what do you want to do?”

“Is this your way of asking me out on a date cupcake?”

“Wha…seriously? You’re just teasing me again.” She puffs her cheek in the cutest way ever.

“I was just kidding.” You chuckle. “Hmm, okay I was planning on visiting this new art museum in town.”

“Ohh yeah we can go there! Sounds exciting!” She says with so much glee.

“Alright then, buckle up creampuff.” You already know this day was going to be exhausting.

 

//

 

“Here we are.” Carmilla announces as you two approach a French looking building. You take your camera out and take a photo. The building’s architectural form was really beautiful.

“You’re going to use a film camera?” Carmilla asks you curiously.

“Yeah! I was always a very traditional photographer, I mean I use DSLRs too but for this exhibit I decided on film.” You wanted to make your photos show a kind of vulnerability in them through using a film camera. It was always more difficult, having only a limited number of shots but then again you liked challenges.

You point to your camera. “Also, this here is Hermione.”

“You name your cameras?” Carmilla chuckles.

“That’s how important they are to me.” 

You two enter the art museum and the sight just blows you away. 

“This place is beautiful.” The ceiling was giving off soft white light illuminating the artworks. The gallery was symmetrically structured with open doors on each side. Paintings hung on the walls and sculptures stood around.

“Huh, I didn’t know this was their theme this year.” She says as you both walk around admiring the place.

It really was stunning. The whole place was made out of marble. It gave out a mid-century vibe. You take snapshots at the artworks as you walk around.

You then enter another wide portion of the museum. Carmilla walks to the middle approaching a statue of a man with large black wings kneeling on one knee, his hand touching the ground and the other leaning on his knee. There was something else too, the statue’s other eye had tears running down with different colors. Carmilla’s back was turned and she was right in the middle of the statue that it looked like the wings were hers. It was breathtaking. You position your camera instantly and take a photo.

Carmilla just stood there staring at the statue. You can feel it again, the pull, like you need to look at her this moment. She looks so pained that your heart tightens.

“Carm? Are you okay?” You ask her, worry laced in your voice.

“Have you ever felt like you were being held down by invisible chains and couldn’t fly away?” She says as she touches the statue’s face. “This statue feels that way, he’s got wings but the chains always pull him back to the ground every time he tried to get away.”

“That’s… really sad.” You scowl. “I have a different perspective on it though.”

Carmilla turns to you then “Oh? Do tell.”

“I think this statue represents someone who’s about to take flight.” You walk to Carmilla’s side. “That glorious moment where you think, finally, you can fly. It’s the feeling of being liberated.”

Carmilla just looks at you very attentively. You suddenly feel self-conscious. “That’s just what I think anyway.” You look away feeling flustered from her burning gaze.

“That was a very beautiful observation cupcake. You’re right, it does portray that as well.” She smiles at you. Like that genuine smile she gave you when you two first met. You actually feel a full on blush creeping up your cheeks.

“Anyway! Yeah! Let’s go look around more!” You squeak and walk away. What the hell was that?

 

\--

 

It was already late in the afternoon when you two walk out of the museum. 

“That was so fun!” You tell Carmilla.

“Yeah, there were a lot of really great artworks. I might just be able to paint something again.”

You look at her questioningly. “You having problems with inspiration or something?”

“Yeah, kind of, I can’t seem to paint the same way as before.” Her face suddenly turns blue.

“Maybe you’re not supposed to.”

She looks back up at you again. “What do you mean?”

“Maybe you can’t paint like before because you’re supposed to break away from the old you and into the new you. Get what I mean?”

“I’m not sure I like the new me. I don’t get the new me at all.”

“Then try to get to know the new you. The thing is Carm, you didn’t actually change, you just…grew I guess? The new you is still you, that part hasn’t changed.”

She smirks at that. “I’ll be thinking about it. Thanks for the insight cupcake. I should head back home.”

“Thanks for today Carm, I got a lot of great shots.”

“I thought I would never say this but I had a lot of fun too.” She’s smiling at you again. You gather all courage and hug her then step away quickly. She looks really stunned and her face looked slightly red, probably your imagination.

“Bye!” You turn and run away from Carmilla again. You seem to be doing this a lot.

Your lungs are burning from all the running you did (you should really catch up on your cardio). You arrive at the train station and try to get your breathing in control. Even after you’ve calmed down, your heart still beats really fast just like the train approaching right now. You clutch your chest and sigh. 

You think of Carmilla again. Her smile, how warm she was when you hugged her, her flushed face, whoa there Laura. You sigh. 

“Worst. Crush. Ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I based the museum from the music video of BTS, Blood Sweat and Tears, if you wana check it out it's right [here](https://youtu.be/hmE9f-TEutc)
> 
> Also the statue was based from the same video.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed that!


	4. Omelas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hollstein and tons of references

_Death doesn’t discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes…_

You find yourself standing in front of a blank canvas again as ‘Wait for It’ plays in the background. You dip your brush in paint. You stare at the whiteness of the canvas that has mocked you for months. “Not anymore.” You murmur.

_And we keep living anyway we rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes..._

You make your first stroke. First stroke’s always the hardest. But you do it anyway. You’re not scared if you make a mistake anymore. 

_And if there’s a reason I’m still alive when everyone who loves me has died…_

You keep painting like you can’t stop your hand anymore. You remember this feeling, it’s natural. You missed it so much. It doesn’t seem foreign at all.

_Then I’m willing to wait for it…_

You splatter paint on the canvas. Blue, gray, white. You always loved splattering paint. It was your favorite technique. It was the first one you learned before painting precise strokes.

_I am the one thing in life I can control…_

A stroke here, there. More shadows here. The light source would be coming in from there. You think methodically as you continue painting. Your mind doesn’t feel blocked anymore. All those years of holding a brush comes back to you then. But then it feels different at the same time. Like you’re painting with a new style.

_I am inimitable, I am an original…_

You breathe heavily as you add the final touches to your work. You run your brush fluidly from the portrait’s eyes down over the cheeks with the color orange. You drop your hand and just gaze at the image you painted. 

A portrait of Laura looking up with tears running down one eye. 

The main portrait a monochrome color scheme of blue with the orange and green tears standing out.

This is Laura about to take flight.

This is Laura flooded with emotion as she realizes she’s finally free. 

“Wings.” A tear rolls down your cheek. You did it, you finally broke away. You’re starting to piece yourself back together. You smile, all thanks to an annoying photographer girl.

 

//

 

You’re rewatching the Harry Potter series when you feel your phone vibrate on the couch. You perk up looking at the message preview, _Carmilla._

 

**Carmilla:**  
_Hey cupcake, how are the photos coming along?_

 

You two haven’t spoken in a week since the art museum so you hastily type in a reply.

 

**Laura:**  
_Alright, I hung up the last batch from the art museum just moments ago :)_

**Carmilla:**  
_Do you need more shots? I’m still free to help out_

**Laura:**  
_Who are you and what have you done to the real Carmilla??_

**Carmilla:**  
_-_- what the frilly hell do you mean?_

**Laura:**  
_You’re acting all nice and considerate!!_

**Carmilla:**  
_Well excuse me for acting like a civil human being_

**Carmilla:**  
_Fine forget my offer then_

**Laura:**  
_No! I’m sorry! I was just kidding!!_

**Carmilla:**  
_It’ll take more than that to make me forgive you_

**Laura:**  
_What about pizza as a piece offering then? :)) You can come over to my place_

**Carmilla:**  
_Why cupcake, bluntly making a move on me again huh?_

 

You scoff. The nerve of this girl.

 

**Laura:**  
_I take it back, it is you after all_

 

You just know she’s probably grinning and feeling proud of herself right now.

 

**Carmilla:**  
_I’m just teasing, I’m coming over ;)_

 

\--

 

You’re belting out to Fearless when you hear someone knock on the door. “Probably the pizza guy.” You get up and open the door. 

Nope, not the pizza guy.

“Hey! You’re here!” You smile at Carmilla. 

“Taylor Swift? Really?” Carmilla smirks at you. 

You scoff. “Stop judging me for my music taste.” 

“That bunched up face you make when you’re annoyed is adorable, buttercup.” She says.

You feel your ears burning. “Whatever just come in already.” You move away and let her pass.

“Make yourself at home.” You say motioning her to the couch.

“Huh… you’re a real photographer after all. If I had doubts before, they all vanished just now.” She says as she walks around admiring the photos you have on the wall.

You scoff again in disbelief. “Are you telling me you didn’t believe I was a photographer at first?”

“Well it did cross my mind that you were probably just trying to use that as a cover to ask me out.” She shrugs.

Seriously, this girl, you don’t know what to do with her anymore. You sit on the couch. 

“You’re just reminding me how full of yourself you are.”

Carmilla doesn’t reply and suddenly falls quiet. You look back at her and realize she’s studying your photos very intently. You unexpectedly feel self-conscious. She’s practically looking at a wall depicting your life. 

“You’re a really talented photographer Laura.” Carmilla says sincerely still looking at your wall.

“Uhm, thanks, I guess.” You downplay how that compliment actually mattered to you. No one else aside from Kirsch, and now Carmilla, has actually seen this wall. You don’t even have the courage to show your dad your photographs.

Carmilla touches one photograph. It’s the shot of her at the museum where she had her back to you looking like a black angel. “You’re right about the vulnerability thing with the film camera. Your works feel so raw… and exposed in a whole other level.”

“I’m glad you think so.” That makes you smile. “I want my audience to _feel_ my photos, you know what I mean? Not just admire the exterior beauty.”

“You want to get across the feeling you have through your photos. I definitely get it. It’s the same way with painting.”

“Art is all about expression after all right?” You’re enjoying this exchange. At least you both share art in common. 

Carmilla’s quiet again and find yourself in the familiar state of staring at her. She really is beautiful, you’re not even denying that anymore. You grab your camera, Hermione, from your desk and position yourself to take a shot. Carmilla looks back at you the same time you press the shutter. 

“Taking stolen shots of me now, cupcake?” She’s smirking again.

“It’s called _candid_ , cupcake.” You say in a mocking tone.

She just laughs at that and you roll your eyes till a knock on the door pulls your attention away. “Pizza!!” You gleefully say and jump to the door.  
Carmilla just smiles and shakes her head at you.

 

\--

 

“Why are we watching this cupcake? I have a feeling you’ve rewatched Harry Potter like a billion times.” Carmilla tells you from where she was sprawled on the couch like a cat. Wow she really made herself feel like she was at home.

“I believe in magic okay?” It was true, you received a letter from Hogwarts when you were eleven but didn’t go attend because you wanted to be a photographer. Of course maybe your dad was behind the letter thing but whatever, details.

“Magic? Okay I’m not even surprised you believe in it.”

“Everything is magical! Like how planes aren’t a real thing! It has to be magic.” You argue as you walk over and dump the pizza box on the coffee table.

“Planes…” She deadpans.

“It just doesn’t make sense! That science is a thing. I think it’s only magic.”

“This is magic, this conversation.” She laughs. 

You roll your eyes. “Well either way we’re watching Harry Potter.” You stick your tongue out at her.

You take your seat beside her and play the movie. “Hey so you didn’t tell me you were actually a world renowned child prodigy painter.”

“Well you never asked either.” She says.

“I’m asking about it now.” You glare at her.

“That wasn’t a question cupcake.” She chuckles. “But yes, I guess the world decided they loved my paintings. That is until I lost all inspiration and motivation.”

“Was that why you wanted to go to the museum?”

She nods her head. “I was hoping to get inspiration from the place.”

“For the record, I am now a certified fan of yours.” 

She smiles. “Why thank you.”

You seem content with that and just look back at the television. The fourth Harry Potter film, your favorite.

 

//

 

“Carm that last piece is mine!” Laura shouts as she tries to lounge for the last piece of pizza.

You beat her to it and click your tongue at her. “Ah-ah. This pizza was supposed to be your apology remember?”

“But… It’s pizza!” She pouts at you.

“Fine, here you can take a bite.” You bring the slice closer to her. “And I mean it, just a bite.”

Laura seems content with that as she bites off a large piece of the pizza. “Cupcake that is not a normal bite!” 

She just laughs at you while munching on her stolen pizza.

“So… I know you said you wanted to help me out which is why you came over…” She pauses then.

“Yeah?”

“Was that the only reason?” She looks at you innocently then.

You sigh. “I also wanted to thank you actually.” You say suddenly feeling shy.

“Thank me for what?” Laura asks slightly confused.

Here goes nothing. “Because of you, I was able to paint again.” You bite your lower lip at your admission.

“I… how did I?” 

“You were right, I couldn’t paint the same as before because that’s not who I am anymore.” You chuckle at the thought. “I lost…a lot Laura, but after thinking about what you said, I wanted nothing more than to just… break away.”

Laura’s looking at you listening attentively. “Do you know the story _‘The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas?_ ’”

She shakes her head. “Not really, no, what about it?”

“It portrayed this utopian city filled with happiness and delight. In Omelas, there was no status, none of that political socioeconomic bullshit. Everyone was equal and at peace it was practically a fairytale land. But underneath all that picture-perfect landscape was an evil truth. The serenity of Omelas depended on keeping a single child miserable. That child is kept in the darkness and filth to secure the city.”

“That’s awful.” She says as she wrinkles her nose. 

“Well when the people knew about that secret, they felt shocked and disgusted. So they walk away from Omelas and go to a world not even close to a fairytale land. No one knows where they actually go but I like to think that they end up in the real world. Where they have to face happiness and sadness, challenges and struggles.” 

You’ve always liked this story. It didn’t have an actual plot but you could somehow relate to it, even more now. You were a philosophy and art major after all.

“I guess what I’m saying is, I felt like I was living in Omelas and when everything fell apart, I was too scared to leave my safe place. But now, I was able to take my first step out into the real world.”

“So you’re saying that I helped you realize all that?”

“Precisely cupcake. You basically truth bombed me that day at the museum. For that, well, thank you.”

“I’m really glad you’re able to start moving forward again Carm but I think you’re giving me too much credit.” She smiles at you then. “You’re actually giving yourself too little credit in fact. I know we haven’t known each other long but I can guess that you’re capable enough to realize that on your own.”

You interrupt her then. “Only because you were there to light the spark. So just let me thank you for it alright?”

“So does that mean you owe me now?” 

You chuckle. “I gave you the last slice of pizza. I think that makes us equal now.”

“Not fair!” She pouts again then lights up again. “Does that also mean we’re friends?”

“I think I’d like that very much.” You say with a slightly flirtatious tone you didn’t intend to use.

“Great! Well…”

“Got nowhere to run off to now huh creampuff?” You tease.

She suddenly turns red. “I…I’m sorry for always running away like that. I promise I don’t do it on purpose.”

“It’s okay, I’ll hold you to it.” You’re in safe grounds with her right now. You want to keep it this way for a while till you actually start sorting out your feelings. You can admit to yourself now that maybe you do have a small crush on her. You don’t tell her that of course.

You look at her again and notice that her eyes are sparkling. Wow, definitely _helpless._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so was it obvious I solely wrote that chapter for references? I'm kidding :D
> 
> I first knew about The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas because it was referenced in another BTS music video, Spring Day, check it out, really aesthetic MV :')
> 
> Also I wanted to make this chapter show how an artist struggles when painting especially without inspiration or motivation. I suffer from that so many times. Sometimes others think that painting or any form of art tbh, writing, those stuff, don't require much thinking and struggle from the artists themselves. But no, it takes so much strength, energy, thought, it's very draining to make art to the point that I sometimes have unhealthy habits such as skipping meals and such. Which is why I don't believe that no art isn't beautiful because I'm sure that the process behind it is very difficult.
> 
> So yeah thanks for listening to my rant :D
> 
> Hope you enjoyed that!


	5. First Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hollstein and artsy kids

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, got held up with an art competition, still, enjoy!

“Laur, don’t take this the wrong way but your place is a mess.” Kirsch says as he enters your apartment.

He wasn’t wrong actually. Photographs are lying on your couch, your desk, the floor. It looks like a photo hurricane hit your flat. It feels like it too.

“The exhibit’s really close Kirsch, I have to start choosing my photos and central theme.” This is how you work. You want everything to be laid out in front of you and see the whole picture. Then you start to piece everything from general to specific. 

“I can help out. We still got like four hours till the volunteering thing.” Kirsch reminds you. 

“Crap! I totally forgot about that!” You and Kirsch go to this children’s art clinic every year as tradition. It was because of that clinic that you were sure you wanted to become a photographer. You were a student there once till you were old enough to be a volunteer coach for photography.

“Hey, don’t worry about it L. We still got time.” Kirsch says to calm you down.

“Yeah, you’re right. I think this exhibit is starting to get to me.” The photography exhibit was now just three weeks away. You’re both nervous and excited at the same time. 

“Wanna take a break? I brought brownies! Fresh from the coffee shop courtesy of Perry.” He says lifting the box of heavenly baked goods.

You stand up quickly and take the box from him. “Remind me to thank Perry the next time I see her. These brownies came into my life at the perfect time.” 

Kirsch laughs and you two head over to the kitchen to take a break.

 

\--

 

Two hours later and you arrive at the art clinic with Kirsch. 

“And landed an hour early. Told you we’d make it.” Kirsch tells you from the driver’s seat.

“Yeah, I tend to become overdramatic when I panic.” You say as you get out of the car.

You two head on over to the building and are welcomed by one of your mentors, Mrs. Cochrane.

“You made it! It is so nice to see you again, dear.” Mrs. Cochrane says as she gives you a hug.

“Always Mrs. Cochrane. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You give her a smile.

She moves and gives Kirsch a hug as well. “Well at least the photography class can start soon. The painting section will have to wait a bit more. Unfortunately their instructor is running late. That is if he’ll even make it today.”

“You’re down one man Mrs. C?” Kirsch asks.

“Yes. Mr. Straka called in saying he caught a cold.”

“Oh no, what about the kids in the painting class?”

“Worst case scenario is we’ll have to cancel it unless we find a backup instructor.”

You get a brilliant idea then. “I think I have a solution to your problem Mrs. Cochrane. Give me one sec.” You say and bring out your phone and message Carmilla. You hope she was awake, it was barely nine AM.

 

\--

 

Fifteen minutes later and you hear a car screeching into the parking lot. A figure bursts in the door heaving and frantic.

“Hey, you made it!” You say as you approach Carmilla.

She looks up at you, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “I thought…you…were…in trouble.” She says in between breaths.

“I didn’t say I was in trouble.”

Carmilla looks outraged and raises her phone revealing your message. “ **Emergency. Come to Silas Elementary. Quick**.”

“Yeah, I kind of need your help with something.”

“I cannot believe you made rush in here like a madman, Laura. I thought something happened to you.”

You soften. “Awwhh, so if I were in real trouble you would have still rushed in to save me?”

She raises her index finger to raise a point. “I’m not the hero of this piece.”

She turns and goes back out the door. You run after her. “Wait! I’m sorry I made you worried.”

“Really? Because you don’t seem sorry.”

You sigh. “I really am, but I also really need your help.” You explain to her the situation and just hope she agrees to help out.

She runs her hand through her hair. 

You bring out the big guns. You use your puppy dog eyes on her. “Please? For me?” 

“Ugghh. Fine.” She groans.

“OMG thank you!” You hug her then and you feel her tense up but acquiesces anyway and pats you awkwardly on the back.

“Alright, where are the little art devils.”

You grin at her. “Follow me!”

 

// 

 

All your plans of lounging on your couch and just reading a good book get thrown in the drain as you find yourself sitting in front of Laura as she explains to you the activities for the art clinic.

“So basically you just have to supervise them. Help them out if they have problems and also teach a few techniques.” Laura explains to you. 

“I’m warning you right now. I have a bad temper and am bad with kids.” You say bluntly. “Are you sure I’m the best choice for this?”

“Ohh come on you’re even overqualified. The kids won’t be too much trouble. Kirsch is gonna help you out with that.” She introduces Kirsch who was standing beside Laura.

“Hey there. So you’re Carm-sexy! Nice to finally meet you. Laura’s told me a lot about you.” The beefcake, _Kirsch_ , says.

You raise an eyebrow at him. “What did you just call me?” 

“Ohh! Please don’t be offended, I wasn’t trying to make a move on you. It’s just that Laur here can’t stop talking about how hot you are-“ He gets cut off as Laura quickly covers his mouth.

“Okay! Enough of that! Let’s go school these kids!” She says too cheerfully and rises up from her chair.

You couldn’t help the grin that spreads across your face even if you tried. So she does think of you too huh. You realize this crush may not be completely one-sided after all.

 

\--

 

So maybe the little devils were better than you expected. They were all mostly well behaved and hung on every word you say. You walk around the room and observe the kids while they paint giving suggestions as you go along.

These kids actually remind you of yourself when you were younger. You were always a silent kid. You preferred reading over actual conversations. It was probably an artist thing. Artists see the world through different eyes. Other people would look at a wall and only see the wall. You would look at a blank wall and think of possible paintings to be done over it. It’s honestly like you live in one of those Van Gogh paintings. 

You’re distracted from your thoughts as you see a kid painting his own rendition of the Starry Night Sky. “That’s a pretty good painting you got there kid.” 

He looks up at you shyly. “Thank you Ms. K.”

You smirk, yeap definitely an artist thing. “So you’re a fan of Van Gogh huh?”

He brightens at the mention of Van Gogh then, he actually reminds of you how Laura lights up when presented with sweets. 

“I love him! I want to be just like him when I grow up!”

“I bet you can. You’ll have to work hard though okay? You’ll have to paint every day. It doesn’t matter if what you paint is shi- bad… as long as you create something each day.”

He nods his head vigorously. “Got it, I’ll definitely work hard and then I can become exactly like Van Gogh!” 

“Well maybe not exactly.” Van Gogh was bipolar after all. “You can just be yourself kid. Show the world who you are.”

“Okay!” He tells you and goes back to his painting.

You smile and look up to see Kirsch smiling at you. You walk towards him and stand next to him.

“What’re you smiling ‘bout beefcake?”

“It’s nothing. I was just thinking that you and Laura really fit.” 

You smile at that. “I never would have guessed we could even be friends.” You think back at how that prissy little overachiever was able to break your walls and get to you. “But she’s special. I’m glad I met her.”

“I’m happy you see that. I just don’t want her to get hurt okay? She deserves the world and so much more.”

You wish you could give her the world if you’re being honest with yourself. “Don’t worry, she’s my friend now too. I won’t let anything bad happen to her.”

“Thank you.” Kirsch says sincerely. “Hey, if you’re tired you can go and take a break. I can handle things here.”

“Yeah I’ll do that. Don’t let them start throwing paint at each other now.” He chuckles behind you as you exit the room.

 

\--

 

You go outside and stand at the back of a crowd of kids as you watch Laura animatedly teach them about basic photography.

“So the most important ingredient to becoming a great photographer is getting to know your camera.” She points at her own camera. “This here kids, is _Luna_ , she’s my trusty camera. We work well together because we’re friends.” 

You roll your eyes. To other people this may seem like a camera analogy but knowing Laura she actually treats her cameras like real people.

“Now I want you guys to go around and find something interesting, capture them and come show it to me, alright? Now, go!” She says as the kids go scrambling around the campus to take photos of whatever they deem interesting.

Laura notices you and starts walking into your direction.

“Luna, huh?” You tease her.

“Ohh come on Carm. You already knew I named my cameras.”

“I know, I was just teasing. So hey, you’re now a great photographer and a teacher huh?”

She laughs. “Yeah. I’ve been doing this for three years now. Actually, I used to be one of those kids.”

“Ahh, so you were a photography nerd since childhood.” You can actually picture tiny Laura holding up a camera. It was cute.

“Guilty.” She chuckles. “My parents brought me here when I was a kid. They gave me my first camera and I instantly fell in love.” She looks wistful as she recounts her story.

“So photography was your _first love_ , figures.” 

“Yeah, it really was. So hey, how are the classes? Killed any kids yet?”

You smirk. “Miraculously, no. They’re actually pretty decent devils, not satans as I first thought.”

“Hey I could help you out with them after my class if you want.” 

“I’d like that.” You smile at her and you two just lock eyes for a long blissful moment.

 

//

 

You’re really happy with your day. There were a lot of kids with real potential. You love witnessing that. There’s always one or two who would completely fall in love with photography and grow up doing just that for the rest of their lives. You were one of those kids.

You also dropped in Carmilla’s class and helped out. And maybe went a little overboard as you smudge paint on Carmill’as cheek and ran away before she could get her revenge. What you don’t expect is that Carmilla starts to chase after you and you both go around the classroom laughing and dodging her. She’s able to corner you though and locks her arm around your waist as she smears paint using her whole palm on your face.

“Carm! Oh my god!” You squeal while laughing at the same time.

“You do not mess with the paint goddess!” She exclaims in return.

That made you burst out into a laughing fit. “Paint goddess? Seriously?” You hold Carmilla’s hand that was wrapped around your waist as you continue laughing.

You finally stop laughing and calm down. Then it dawns on you how close Carmilla was and you’re flustered again. She seems to notice your close proximity too and lets you go and steps back. 

“So it turns out the color orange fits you.” She tells you with a smirk.

“What? Color orange?” Then you realize your face was still covered in paint. 

It had to be _orange._

“Come on, let’s go clean up.” She says as she reaches for your hand and pulls you out of room.

You look back and notice Kirsch giving you that smile that meant he had a secret. You also notice he was holding his phone up. You point at him signaling ‘I’m watching you.’

 

\--

 

The art clinic is officially a success. Mrs. Cochrane thanks the three of you for helping out. Your group heads out and you stretch like a cat (you’re more of a puppy though if you were honest with yourself).

“Thanks for helping out guys.”

“Any time Laur.” Kirsch tells you.

“Yeah, it was okay.” Carmilla says.

“So hey I gotta go. I have some… errands to do.” Kirsch suddenly announces and runs to his car. “See you later hotties!” He adds before driving away.

“What was that about?” You wonder out loud.

You look up to the sky and realize the sun was still about to set. “Oh my god the sun hasn’t set yet! Hey Carm you know a good location to watch the sunset?” 

She looks at you cheekily again.

“I wanted to take photos okay! I wasn’t making a move on you.” You say quickly. “That is unless you had something else to do?” You hope she doesn’t. You just honestly want to spend a little more time with her.

“I know a place, come on.” Carmilla says and heads towards her car.

 

//

 

You arrive at the hill, the same hill where you sketch. Your secret place. You don’t know why you decided to bring Laura here. You never brought anyone else here. Maybe you just wanted to thank Laura for the day, maybe.

“So here we are.” You tell Laura. She quickly gets out of your car and heads to the terrace overlooking the city. You follow her out of car.

“Carm! This place is amazing!” She exclaims as she stares out into the sky. 

“I’m glad you like it cupcake.” She then starts taking photos so you head on over and sit on your usual bench. The sun was still setting. That moment where the colors perfectly blended with each other. Hues of orange, red, yellow. The red blending with the blue to make violet tones too. It was something you would have loved to paint but right now you were satisfied sitting there and watching Laura take photos of the sunset.

She brings her hands down and just watches the remaining light filter out. “It’s so beautiful.”

“Yeah it is.” You realize you’re not referring to the sunset at all. You’re enjoying your view of Laura just standing there with a content smile her face. Truly stunning.

She heads over and sits next to you. “Thanks for bringing me here Carm.” She’s smiling so genuinely at you that your heart actually skips a beat. Well that never happened before.

“You’re welcome. I love coming up here. It’s the best place to draw the sunset.”

“So is this like your top-secret place?”

“You can call it that, yeah.”

“Thank you for sharing this place with me then.”

You chuckle. “You’re thanking me too much already, cutie.”

“Hey! Let’s take a selfie to commemorate this day!” She says and scoots closer to you and holds her camera, right Luna, above you two. 

“Say Hufflepuffs rule!”

“Ravenclaws rule.” You say as she takes the photo.

She rolls her eyes. “J.K Rowling should really add smug and narcissistic to describe Ravenclaws. Or maybe just one _certain_ Ravenclaw.”

You chuckle. “Right, and she should also add in more for Hufflepuffs like tightly-wound, prissy, nerdy…”

“Hey!” She exclaims.

“What? It’s true.” You start laughing.

She rolls her eyes at you. When the laughter dies down you realize how the sunset highlights her eyes, her soft browns now look a bit golden and it’s just captivating. It doesn’t escape you how her eyes flit to your lips then back up to you. What you don’t expect is Laura’s face coming closer and you’re just glued on your seat not daring to move. But all thatl fades as Laura ends up leaning her head on your shoulder. You tense at first then relax as you somehow feel like you and her actually fit.

You two continue watching the sunset in silence. You always thought you were a woman who could never be satisfied. You’re starting to doubt the reason you even thought so because right now all you can feel is content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not every artist is shy and all, but I for one was one of those shy art kids. 
> 
> Also, you can ask me stuff through tumblr right over [here](http://betteroffwithart.tumblr.com/)


	6. Hold Me Tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stars, dancing...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a song I used here, check it out if you'd like [(x)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCV-OtWHeLU)

“Cupcake, why can’t we just hang out in your place?” You find yourself at the coffee shop for the fourth time in the past two weeks because Laura refuses to let you in her apartment.

“Because, Carmilla, I’ve told you a hundred times already.” She sighs in exasperation. “The exhibit is one week away and a photograph bomb practically exploded in my apartment.” 

Laura’s been getting more and more worried as the exhibit drew closer.

“I still don’t see how that holds us back from there.” You really don’t get why. “Your place wasn’t that put together the last time I was there.”

She scoffs. “No need to point that out. It’s just, I want it to be a surprise okay?” That catches your attention. 

“For what reason?” You knit your eyebrows together in confusion.

She honest to god squirms in her seat. “I want to see how you’ll react once you see the final photos during the exhibit.” She says in a really small voice.

Laura Hollis actually shuts you up. You just sit there gaping a bit. You can’t seem to find the right words as of the moment.

“And it’s just…” Laura continues. “Well you really did me a big favor by being my model already you know?” She starts rambling animatedly. “And then you actually came when I asked for help during the art clinic even though you didn’t know what I was going to ask for. You still came, and I know you didn’t do all those for me…” 

You cut her off then. “Of course I did it for _you_.” You look at her sincerely.

“I…uhh…ohh.” She stutters.

“And you don’t have to worry about your exhibit okay? I’m sure you’ll do great.” You try to reassure her.

“Thanks Carm. Thanks for believing in me.” She gives you a small smile.

You’ve never seen Laura this way. You’re so used to the bright and bold Laura. But now she’s actually showing you her other sides and the thought of her allowing that just makes you feel warm inside.

“Why are you so worried anyway?” 

She sighs and her shoulders drop visibly. “I want this exhibit to go perfectly. I…my dad’s attending and I don’t want to let him down.” She looks out the window like she’s really deep in thought. 

“I’m pretty sure my… mother also knows about the exhibit. If she was going to show up, well I just want to prove to her and everyone else that I’m a great photographer.” Ahh it all makes more sense now. 

“Laura hey, I know you’re under a lot of pressure right now but believe me when I say you’re an amazing photographer. If they can’t see it, then they’re idiots. No offense to your parents.”

She gives a soft laugh. “None taken.” She looked solemn again. “I already told you how I was inspired to become a photographer.” You nod and let her continue.

“Mom gave me my first camera. I would never put that thing down and would waste so much film taking photos of anything and everything.” Her voice cracks. You can’t take how much Laura is hurting that you wish you could do something more but you just silently listen.

“Then she left just like that. She never told me nor my dad why. I almost quit photography because of it. But then I knew that I could always communicate better through my photographs.” She finally smiles and you realize how headstrong this girl really is. 

“I can capture a moment in time and narrate its story through a single photograph.”

“That you definitely can do. Laura I haven’t met a photographer with as much heart as you.” You’ve never meant anything as much as this your entire life.

“Thanks, Carm.” She finally smiles and you mentally high five yourself for that. After all she’s been through, she still smiles so lightly and if you’re fully honest with yourself, it’s pretty infectious, so you smile back.

 

\--

 

You have no idea how you allowed Laura to drag you to the dog park on a _Monday_ morning not to mention. But then again it’s Laura Hollis, who is apparently really stubborn when her mind is set on something.

“Cupcake, mind me asking but why the dog park?”

“Because, _Carmilla_.” She says your name with so much sarcasm it makes you laugh. You’re rubbing off on her. “I just watched _Secret Life of Pets_ and have a lot of pent up energy and feels after that so I need to play with dogs ASAP.”

“That does not even surprise me as you’re practically a human puppy.” You directly tell her.

“At least I’m a cute one.” She winks at you and turns back. You feel your ears warm up and you’re sure if you saw yourself in the mirror right now they would be a shade of pink. You say nothing and catch up to her walking by her side. 

“A Siberian Husky! Oh my god!” And she’s gone. Just like that she runs to a really big dog that looks more like a wolf than dog. You decide to sit on a bench close to her and bring out your sketch pad.

You start sketching any random thing you see as Laura jumps from one dog to another. It doesn’t surprise you that the dogs love her, who wouldn’t? 

The trees and lampposts start to bore you so you start to sketch Laura again. You’ve been doing that frequently these past days after you made that portrait painting of her. You never showed Laura any of these works of course, you’d die of embarrassment. 

You locate Laura playing with a corgi and you start sketching that. Beginning with the basic form of her crouching and gently patting the dog that was standing up trying to lick Laura’s face. How Laura’s hair falls to her shoulders. Her really bright smile. Then her eyes. 

You pause what you’re doing as you suddenly feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. You bring it out and freeze at the read-out. _Mattie_. What the fuck did she want? You’re actually shaking now as you unlock your phone to read the message.

 

**Mattie:**  
_Ciao Bella, lunch tomorrow?_

 

You’re gritting your teeth. How could she casually just ask her that? After all the trouble and pain she’s caused. You’re gripping your phone so hard till a hand lightly touches your shoulder. “Carm?”

You look up to see Laura looking at you with a concerned face. You loosen your grip and you instantly relax a bit. Laura always had this effect on you. 

“You okay?” She asks when you don’t answer.

“Y-yeah…I’m okay.” You weakly answer. You hate how a simple text can you affect you this much. “I’m not feeling really well, I need… I need to go.” You don’t wait for her reply and just walk away ignoring Laura calling for you. You needed to be alone for a while. 

 

\--

 

You arrive at your home and don’t bother Laf talking to you as you head straight to your room. You don’t even shut your door. Laf knows to steer away from you whenever you were like this. You sit down on the couch near the window and just close your eyes trying to erase what you’re feeling right now. Pain, hurt, betrayal. You hated feeling this way. It always made you so closed off but you can’t help it. 

So you stay there with your yellow blanket and stare out into the sky. It was already late, the stars have come out while the quarter moon was hidden behind clouds. You loved to look at the stars. You always thought that everyone was small in comparison to them. Laura called you a true philosophy major when you told her that one night you two were up late in her apartment and you were staring out her window just like this. That memory made you smile. 

Once again, Laura was able to break into your thoughts. You welcome them this time though. It was always easier not to fight it. Even though in the first place you knew it was a losing battle.

 

//

 

You really hope Carmilla was okay. She hasn’t replied to any of your messages yet. You start to pace. What if something really bad happened? What if Carmilla wasn’t okay and she needed you right now but you didn’t know? It was killing you, being in the dark.

You remember looking at Carmilla seeming so stunned. She wouldn’t flinch not even after you try to call her name more than once. She only looks up to you when you finally touch her shoulder. 

But the eyes looking up then weren’t hers. It wasn’t the Carmilla that you knew. Those eyes were cold and blank not warm like Carmilla’s. You hate this, not being able to do anything. You just want to bring that warmth back, bring her back to you. 

So you grab your bag and a prewrapped box on the table and head out the door to Carmilla’s place. If you were known for something, it was how persistent you were and nothing was going to stop you.

 

\--

 

You arrive at the door to a two story house. You’ve never gone inside actually. You only knew Carmilla lived here after dropping her off one night. You take in a deep breath before knocking on the door.

You were ready to face Carmilla but you weren’t prepared to be confronted with someone in a gas-mask. Okay what is happening right now? 

Whoever was underneath it finally placed the gas mask over their head. “Hey! Sorry I probably scared you. I’m LaFontaine, they/them pronouns. And you must be Laura?”

You nod your head suddenly speechless. 

“You’re probably here for Carmilla?”

“Yeah, I was wondering if she was at home.” You ask them finally starting to recover from your initial shock.

“Come on right in.” She gestures for you to enter. “Sorry for the scare, I was just experimenting with some gas in my lab.”

You look at them with concern in your face. “Ohh don’t worry my lab is sealed, you won’t be inhaling any of the gas.” They say as if that could lessen your anxiety.

“So you’re Carmilla’s friend right? She’s told me a bit about you.” You ask them instead.

“Really? What did she even say about me?”

“That you were a crazy scientist but if there was anyone in the world who could find a cure to cancer it would be you.”

That stops them in their tracks. “Wow that’s actually one of the nicest things she’s ever said about me.”

You chuckle at that. “No really, you know you’re the only person other than her family that she would actually talk about without badmouthing.” They tell you.

That makes you smile. “I didn’t know, thanks for telling me.”

They stop and look at you then. “One thing you should know Laura, is that Carmilla doesn’t let people close to her easily. But she let you and I’m glad she did. You’re a good person, I can see that right off the bat.”

“I could say the same thing about her to be honest. But I don’t even know what I’m doing here right now. I’m pretty impulsive and I didn’t think this plan through.” You’re really starting to double think this idea. “What if she doesn’t want to see me?”

“Usually when Carmilla’s closed off like this, she doesn’t talk to anyone at all but I think if it’s you, she’ll hopefully change her ways.” 

You nod. “Okay, show me where she is.” 

“Right down this hallway.” Laf leads you.

“Thank you Lafontaine.” You give them a smile.

“I should be thanking you, good luck.” They leave you and you brace yourself for this. With any luck Carmilla would be in an okay mood. You walk into the hallway and spot an open door. You stop in your tracks as you see Carmilla hunched on a couch with a yellow blanket just staring blankly into nothing with the window behind her giving off a harsh bright light.

The feeling was there again. Carmilla was a magnet and she pulls you to her so easily, so naturally. You take your camera out and take the photo in front of you right now. It was impossible not to.

_‘Snap.’_

Carmilla slowly lifts her head at the sound and looks at you. “This oddly feels like _de ja vu cupcake_.” She gives you a small smile. You just stand there watching her. You’re scared to move.

She seems to realize that when she talks again. “Laura.” The magnitude of your name leaving her lips was so strong that your heart starts to beat faster. “What took you so long?”

That does it. You run to her and wrap your arms around her. You were expecting stiffness again but this time she actually hugs you back and you two just stay that way for minutes.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to see me, I was so scared. I wanted to respect your privacy but I couldn’t help but worry about you. I just wanted to know you were okay but I didn’t want to pry and just…”

“Ssshh. It’s okay, I’m glad you’re here.” Carmilla says so softly.

You extract yourself from her embrace and sit up. “How are you feeling?” You ask her.

“Shitty.” She gives a halfhearted chuckle. “My sister messaged me that day in the dog park.”

You just sit there and listen to her but maintain eye contact to let her know you were listening.

“I never told you what happened to my family but I guess you can say I’m not in good terms with them right now.” She frowns. “Mattie, my sister, was supposed to inherit mother’s company after she retired. But Mattie being Mattie rebelled and ran away. She left us and went traveling around the world. Needless to say mother was furious and wanted me to take over the company.” She sighs deeply then.

“But I couldn’t imprison myself doing something I didn’t love. I wanted to continue painting and mother wasn’t happy with that. She cut her ties with me thinking it would teach me a lesson.”  
You frown and scoot closer to her. She wraps her arm around your shoulder and you lean your head on her shoulder.

“Luckily, I had a lot of money from all my paintings that I saved up so I didn’t have problems in that department.” You can feel her clenching her jaw and you instinctively trace patterns on her hand. Fortunately it’s able to relax her a bit.

“But mother didn’t stop there. She convinced my girlfriend at that time, Ell, that I wasn’t good for her. I don’t know what she told her exactly, probably words bordering on senseless but it was enough to make Ell leave me.” She’s shaking now and you look up to her then and gently touch her cheek. She leans into your hand then and closes her eyes.

“They all left me Laura. For months I was like a ghost, I would only eat when Laf or Danny drags me out my studio. I couldn’t even do the thing I loved most, painting.” 

You can’t believe these people who were closest to Carmilla left her just like that. How could they even do that to a girl like her? You can’t imagine ever abandoning her. 

“Then you came.” She smirks. You look back up at her again confused. “You were like this hurricane that disrupted my zombie life all of a sudden. You inspired me to paint again.” She goes silent then.

“Thank you for telling me your story Carm.” You don’t think Carmilla needed you to say anything else. Especially when you’re on the verge of saying a lot of crappy things about how her family treated her.

“It was inevitable with how you seem to persistently stay with me. It’s honestly tiring.” She says with a laugh.

“Hey!” You purse your lips.

“I was just kidding cupcake.” She softens. “Thanks for coming to check on me.”

“You can thank me by watching Doctor Who with me.” You grin widely at her.

She rolls her eyes. “Fine plug it in.”

 

\--

 

One season of Doctor Who later and Carmilla starts to yawn. You look out the window and realize it was already dark. 

Then you remember you brought something with you. You stand abruptly and went to get the package.

Carmilla eyes you suspiciously as you walk back to her with a box in hand. “So I was supposed to give you this for Christmas but I thought it would be nice to give it now.” You hand her the box and she takes it. “Open it.”

She does just that and brightens once she realizes what it was. “Laura is this what I think it is?”

You nod your head. “It’s a star projector. I have two tapes in there, one for the planets and another for constellations.”

“Cupcake this is just…wow.” 

“Well well what’s this? Have I actually turned _the_ Carmilla Karnstein speechless?”

“Shut up and help me assemble this already.” You laugh. You really like seeing Carmilla like this. She has a glint in her eye while setting up the projector almost as if she was a kid with a new toy.

“Ready?” You ask her as you stand next to the light switch.

“Let’s do it.” You turn the lights off the same time Carmilla turns the projector on. Light then bursts around the darkened room and the sight was just incredible.

“This is amazing.” Carmilla says ecstatically as she looks around. You sit next to her on the floor and watch the display of lights.

“That’s Cassiopeia over there! Then here is Orion!.” She points out to you. She just seemed to be having so much fun and so you take your camera out and capture this moment. This would be another great story to keep.

“Do you like it?” You couldn’t help but ask her.

“Are you kidding me? I love it!” She’s smiling so radiantly at you.

“I’m glad you like it. Advanced Merry Christmas I guess?” You say chuckling.

“Thank you Laura.” She then takes her phone out and suddenly plays a song you didn’t recognize. She surprises you more as she stands up and offers her hand.

“What are you doing?” You ask taking her hand. She then takes your other hand and places it on her shoulder then snakes an arm around your waist.

“You can say it’s like my form of thanking you.” She smiles. “One other thing I love other than painting and stargazing is dancing.”

“So let me get this straight, you’re gonna thank me by waltzing like it’s 1698?”

“Maybe.” She smiles sheepishly then pulls you close and you dance along with the rhythm.

You laugh a bit nervously but start to relax as you two just sway to the music. 

 

_Come a little closer_  
_Flicker in flight_  
_We’ll have about an inch space_  
_But I’m here I can breathe in_  
_What you breathe out_

 

You give up trying to lead because apparently Carmilla has done this more than you have. You hold Carmilla closer to you wanting to stay in this moment longer. Your breath hitches when Carmilla then starts to sing along.

 

_Let me know if I’m doing this right_  
_Let me know if my grip’s too tight_  
_Let me know if I can stay all of my life_  
_Let me know if dreams can come true_  
_Let me know if this one’s yours too_

 

You two look at each other then. She’s just so captivating right now. Carmilla is probably the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your life. You two continue dancing surrounded by millions of stars.

 

_‘Cause I see it_  
_And I feel it_  
_Right here_  
_And I feel you right here_

 

You couldn’t stop yourself from doing what you’re about to do even if you tried. You lean your foreheads together and you just linger there till you finally close the space between you and finally kiss her. 

You’ve been dreaming of doing this for some time now if you’re being honest with yourself. And it’s just so much easier to just go with it. Screw fighting.

You move your mouth tentatively and your heart starts beating faster as Carmilla reciprocates. You pull her closer and just revel at the taste of her till you feel Carmilla’s tongue ask for entrance which you grant happily. Your hand skims underneath her shirt reveling in her warm skin. Carmilla moans into your mouth and it’s like that sound breaks you from your reverie. 

You break the kiss and you’re just so shocked you freeze in your spot and stare at her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” You run your hand through your hair. “This wasn’t supposed to happen, I’m sorry, I have to go.” You abruptly say and grab your stuff.

“Laura, wait.” Carmilla tries to call for you.

You ignore her and head out the door and into the cold night. You’re alone with your mind again. It seems to be running at a faster speed than normal, so was your heart rate. You can’t seem to calm down. 

“What have you done Laura.” You mutter to yourself. You’re completely sure you’ve forever ruined your friendship with Carmilla. Even with all these thoughts racing in your head you still vividly remember the kiss. You touch your lips and still feel the tingle. 

You clench your jaw and continue walking back home passing through buildings lit up with Christmas lights. Christmas was approaching, so was your exhibit, and you just threw away your shot at friendship with Carmilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Raises hands in surrender* I don't know how to write angst, don't worry it's not gonna last haha


	7. You've Got the Best of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura has mommy issues, Carm meets papa Hollis. Oh and it's also the day of the exhibit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATES, WILL TRY TO UPDATE BETTER

_Ten missed calls._

_Twenty unread messages._

All from Carmilla. 

You drop your phone back on the bed. It was time to get up. The day of the exhibit was finally here but you can’t seem to bring yourself to feel happy or excited about it anymore. All that’s left are nerves and dread.

You place your arm over your eyes and try to focus and calm down. 

Your dad was going to be there. 

Important people will be there. 

You wonder if Carmilla would be there too.

You’ve been ignoring her calls and messages for almost a week now. You don’t even know why you’re so scared to face her. Deep down you know you should at least apologize. But you’re just so scared. You don’t want to lose Carmilla but then ignoring her would probably also lead to exactly that.

You sigh. First thing’s first, you have to face today then maybe you’ll have the courage to face Carmilla too. You just hope you’re not too late.

 

\--

 

“You ready Laur?” Kirsch asks beside you.

You nod your head. “Ready as I’ll ever be. How do I look?”

“You look terrific L, don’t worry about it, your final photos are as amazing too.” 

You fix the lapel on your blazer and check your tailored pants for any wrinkles. “Alright, let’s do this!”

“That’s more like it.” You two head in and you brace yourself for what was about to happen.

The place was filled. The exhibit was held in one floor of a hotel downtown. You spot the important people right away. Famous photographers, artists, and, is that your dad? You start walking towards him.

Upon seeing you his whole face lights up and he gives you a big grin. “Pumpkin! You’re finally here.” He moves to give you a hug.

You fall into his arms and squeeze him back. You chuckle, this reminds you so much of your childhood when he would give you bear hugs just like these. Guess some things don’t change after all.

“Hey dad, thanks for coming.”

“Of course! I wouldn’t miss this for the world. A lot of my old friends are here as well.”

“So have you seen my photographs already?” You ask wearily.

“Ohh yes I have, they’re good. Hey I’ll catch up with you later alright pumpkin? I see an old colleague of mine over there.”

“Ohh uhm sure dad, catch you later then.”

You sigh as your dad walks away from you. It was hard not to notice how he only said a few words about your photos. He was always like that after your mother left. There was even a time when he didn’t want you to continue into photography but then you were stubborn so he couldn’t do anything about it. Only, it was obvious how he wasn’t ecstatic about your choice of profession. He’s never fully supported you no matter how good you got.

“Pardon me but may I ask, are you Laura Hollis?” You’re drawn away from your thoughts as a really tall woman asks you.

“Oh, uhm yes that’s me.”

“Danny Lawrence, I’m the editor in chief of an art magazine and I just wanted to congratulate you. Your photographs are stellar.” Danny, something about that name sounded familiar but you couldn’t name it.

“Ohh wow, thank you.”

“I was also wondering if you would be interested in a feature for our magazine? I think you could really bring a different impression in the art world.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “I would love to!” You clear your throat. “I mean that would be really great.”

She chuckles. “Great, here’s my business card, just call me when you’re ready. Also, I was just curious, why’d you make Carmilla Karnstein your muse?”

You blush at the mention of Carmilla. “Ohh uhm, well, I just thought that she was a girl who was more than what people perceive her for.” It felt natural, talking about Carmilla like this so you continue talking.

“When people look at her, they only see Carmilla the artist who could paint beautiful pictures. But when I look at her, I see so much more.” You pause and just get lost in describing Carmilla.  
You think of how Carmilla found her inspiration to paint again. “I see how she surpasses the challenges thrown at her.” 

Carmilla teaching the kids at the art clinic how to paint. “How she helps people in her own unique way.” 

You and Carmilla dancing under the glow of the stars. “How deep down she’s an actual softie.” You smile at that memory, it was definitely one of your favorite sides to Carmilla.

“I guess I wanted to feature that, you know?” You say and look back up at Danny and realize she’s smiling at you.

“I’m so sorry I think I said too much.” You cover your face.

“That was one of the nicest things I’ve heard anyone say about Carmilla. She’s obviously important to you.” 

You look back up at her and blush. “Y-yeah she is. She really is.”

“Then I guess you should really stop ignoring her now huh?” She gives you a knowing look.

“Wha- how…how did you know I was ignoring Carmilla?”

She chukles. “I’m her friend, Carmilla I mean.”

That makes you pause. Did she just say Carm was her friend? 

“Oh my god I didn’t know! I’m so sorry!” LaFontaine was the only friend of Carmilla that you actually met in person. But thinking about it now Carmilla has talked about Danny. No wonder her name was familiar.

“It’s alright, actually I’m really happy to find out Carmilla has someone like you in her dark broody life. Now I have to go but if it helps, Carmilla’s been pretty wrecked without you in her life these past days. I think you’re as important to her as she is to you.”

Danny’s words rang in your ears. You really feel bad for ignoring Carmilla for a whole week. Whatever this is that you feel for her is damn scary but she doesn’t deserve this treatment from you. She deserves so much more. You decided then that you weren’t going to ignore her anymore. 

“You’re right, I should talk to her. It was nice meeting you Danny.”

“It was nice to meet you too.” She says and walks away.

You’re about to give Carmilla a call when a man comes up to you with a bouquet of flowers.

“Laura Hollis? These are for you.” He hands you the bouquet.

“Ohh thank you.” It was pretty normal to be receiving flowers like these during an exhibit but then you realize there was a card inside. You retrieve the card and wonder who it was from.   
The flowers drop on the floor without you noticing. You’re shaking your head and your hands start to tremble once you read the writing.

 

_Congratulations my princess._   
_-Mom_

 

“Hey Laur! You won’t believe this!” Kirsch yells as he approaches you.

You can’t seem to stop shaking. You’re just so floored you don’t know what to do. 

“All your original photographs have been sold! And orders for prints are coming in so fast! You did it L!” Kirsch was in front of you now but you can’t seem to comprehend what he was saying.

“Hey L? You alright?” His voice sounded so worried.

It was getting harder to breathe. You can’t be here right now. So you run out the door. You can’t even seem to care that you’re leaving your exhibit but you had to be somewhere else right now. 

 

//

 

You’re pacing outside the building where Laura’s exhibit was held still deciding whether to go in or not. 

Laura would be there. 

Laura who ignored your messages and calls. 

Laura who kissed you then ran off without a word. You huff in frustration.

“Fuck this.” You mutter and enter the building. 

People. Lots of people. That’s what you first notice upon entering. You groan, of course there would be a lot of them here, it was a pretty big event after all. You recognize some of them but don’t start any conversations with anyone. You’re here for one person only.

“Hey! Aren’t you the muse for Laura Hollis’ exhibit? The photographs are beautiful!” Someone tells you as you walk by. You give whoever it was a curt smile and move on.  
You spot a familiar tall figure and approach him. He sees you and gives you a bright smile. Seriously you now get how he and Laura are best friends. They’re both puppies.

“Carmilla hey! You made it!”

“Hi.” You cut to the chase. “Where’s Laura?”

His face suddenly drops at the mention of Laura’s name. “She left a couple of minutes ago. Didn’t say where she was going at all.”

“What did you say?” You can’t believe this. Was she planning on ignoring you forever? 

“I think it was because of a bouquet she received. It was from her mom.” Kirsch tells you.

That breaks you from your frustrated thoughts. Laura’s mom? She seldom talks about her mom but you knew how she left Laura’s family when she was younger. Deep down you can feel that she hasn’t fully recovered from it yet. You grit your teeth. She’s probably somewhere alone with her thoughts right now and all you want to do is find her and be there for her.

“Do you have any idea where she would be right now?” You anxiously ask Kirsch.

He shakes his head. “Whenever something like this happens, Laur always hides from the world.”

You run your hand through your hair. Where could she be? You start to pace around but stop in your tracks when you realize you were right in front of Laura’s gallery. And just like that you’re captivated again. Pretty much like the first time you saw Laura’s photo wall in her apartment.

The photographs were lined up like it was a time table. You understood the story she was portraying right away.

It begins with the first photo she took of you at the coffee shop. You were looking out the café glass seeming so lost in your own mind. 

That time in the museum with the statue with wings. You’ve already seen this in Laura’s apartment but looking at it again now with all the other photos gave a new meaning to it. It looks like you’re walking away about to take off in to flight.

You smirk at the next photo. It was the candid photo of you looking back at Laura with her photo wall behind you. The photo gives off a different vibe. It feels like you’re warmer now comparing to the first photograph. You soften, the message now starting to become loud and clear.

The next one was of you sitting on your couch that time after Mattie messaged you. The memory made your heart tighten but then you also remember in that day, Laura found you. Even though you thought you wanted to be alone, she came to you. A tear rolls down your cheek but you continue into the last photograph.

 

_My Star_

 

That was the title of the final photo. It was the same evening when Laura gave you the star projector. You were smiling so brightly looking around your room filled with stars. This was the Carmilla you thought was gone. 

“Ohh Laura.” The story was so obvious to you. 

Cold to warm. 

All your different layers. 

The real _you._

“Laura made the right choice picking you.” Kirsch quietly says beside you and hands you a handkerchief. You accept it and wipe away your tears.

“She always did see right through me.” Laura broke down all your walls and you didn’t even realize it. This girl was more important to you than you ever thought. 

“Kirsch? Have you seen Laura?” A big scruffy man comes up to where you and Kirsch stood.

“She left a couple of minutes ago Mr. Hollis.” 

Hollis? Is he Laura’s dad? He turns to you then and you’re left frozen.

“Aren’t you my daughter’s muse?” Laura’s dad asks you.

You snap out of your daze and look at the man in front of you. “Yes sir, I’m Carmilla Karnstein.”

“Sherman Hollis, Laura’s father.” He extends his hand which you shake firmly. 

“You must be really important to my daughter then as she made you her subject.”

“Uhm, she’s a really close friend of mine yes.” Even though what you actually feel for her is something beyond friendship.

“Well then it was nice meeting you, I have to go.” 

“Aren’t you going to wait for Laura?” _Shit_ , the moment you said it you wanted to take it back.

He raises his eyebrow at you. “She already left even though the event wasn’t over yet. I can just give her a call. This is very unprofessional of her.”

“With all respect sir I think Laura is very professional and her photographs can prove that.” Something about how Laura’s father said it came out differently. Like he was disappointed at Laura’s actions and you couldn’t understand why you were confronting him about it. 

His face becomes stern and faces you fully again. You swallow a bit but don’t flinch. 

“I’m glad my daughter has someone like you in her life.”

Okay so you weren’t expecting that. You also weren’t expecting the deep chuckle from him.

“It’s obvious you care about Laura. And I apologize, I didn’t mean to downplay Laura’s professionalism or her ability.” He sighs then and frowns a bit. “But it seems that Laura thinks I do exactly that.”

Laura mentioned to you once how her father didn’t fully support her career. “I think Laura would love it if you told her what you really felt then sir.”

Finally he gives you a smile. “You’re a good kid Karnstein. I’ll be sure to do that.”

And with that last note he leaves you and Kirsch alone. So meeting the parent went better than you thought. If only it was this easy with Laura too.

“What do we do now. We still don’t know where Laura is.” Kirsch finally tells you.

“Then we’ll keep looking. We won’t stop. Laura deserves that.” She found you once and you’ll do the same for her. 

“Alright, I’ll try contacting her.” 

You nod and turn to leave but Kirsch holds back your arm gently.

“Wait before you go I have to give you something. Here.” He hands you a photograph. You take it and soften at the image before you. 

It was a stolen photo of that time during the art clinic when you were able to corner Laura and smear paint all over her face. You were both laughing so freely in the photo. This was the hidden parts of you Laura could bring out.

“Thank you Kirsch.” You say sincerely and he just smiles back so you finally take your leave.

You needed to find Laura. And finally, maybe, tell her how you truly felt. Just like Laura always said, you get nothing if you just wait for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual you can reach me over at tumblr [here](http://betteroffwithart.tumblr.com/)


	8. Only Fools Fall for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura is good in hide and seek.

So maybe Laura was better than you in hiding from the human race. It’s the day after the exhibit but you and Kirsch still haven’t been able to contact her. You sigh and grab the photo Kirsch gave you and just stare.

You trace your forefinger over Laura’s face. It astonishes you, how much you miss her. All these feelings that just want to burst out your chest, it’s all too much. Your heart and mind can’t take it anymore. An outlet, you need an outlet. 

What better way than to paint what you felt?

You take out a blank canvas and prepare all the rest of your painting materials. The natural light coming in from your glass roof is perfect, not too strong but not too dim either. It seems like the elements were in your favor as of the moment. 

As you stand in front of the white canvas again, you’re brought back to a similar moment in time. But it’s different now, you don’t feel blank anymore. If back then you felt so lost, now you knew where you were supposed to be, by Laura’s side.

You close your eyes and let out a breath before finally dipping your brush in paint. The image you wanted to paint was so clear in your mind. Nothing else has been as real to you before. 

Memories of Laura come flashing before you and you use them as leverage for painting. Everything she made you feel. Things you never thought you’d feel again. 

Laura made you whole. Not like those _‘she completes me’_ bullcrap. More like she showed you the way to the lost pieces of yourself. You and Laura are stronger together. You get that now. So you painted all those.

This was it. 

Your _magnum orpus._

You just end up smiling because of course your magnum orpus was only possible courtesy of one certain girl.

Everything felt lighter.

 

//

 

Tired.

You’re just so damn tired. You finally enter your apartment after hiding from the world. 

“What time is it?” You ask no one in particular. Your phone died a few hours after you left the exhibit so it felt like time was construct. Unfortunately you had to get back to the real world again.

You plug your phone and turn it back on.

Oh _shit._

Messages, missed calls, all asking where the hell did you disappear to.

Damn it.

Your dad was freaking out. 

Kirsch was having a panic attack. 

Carmilla almost led a pack of _hunting dogs_ to follow your scent and find you. 

You groan in frustration. If only you didn’t respond that way to your mother’s letter. But you did. This was how you always reacted in situations like these. You drop your head on your hands.

How could you have allowed this to happen. But then it was something you weren’t in control of either. It was a defense mechanism you weren’t proud of. Whenever you had an anxiety attack related to your mom, you’d run away and hide in your old childhood house. No one was living there anymore but they had a caretaker clean it up once a month.

It was your safe haven. The place with all your fondest memories. When your family was still whole. That was all you wanted, to have your family back together again. But reading through all the messages in your phone now, you realize maybe you were searching for the wrong family after all.

Kirsch, your dad, Carmilla.

How could you not see it before? They were _your_ family. You weren’t related to all of them by blood but did that actually matter? Wasn’t a family a group of people who loved each other? Cared about your over intake of sugary products? And that was what they were to you.

They loved you through your good times. They loved you through your bad ones as well. Love was arbitrary but it was _love._

Your dad inspired you to take up photography. Kirsch would always protect you from the bullies in school. And Carmilla…

You’ve never felt anything as strong as this. As strong as what you felt for Carmilla. She’s infuriating and all but she _stuck_ with you. She never left you even after you ran away from her. Carmilla would follow you to ends of the earth and if that wasn’t love then you don’t know what love is. Maybe you’re acting naïve but it was time to stop running.

You send a quick message to your dad and Kirsch assuring them you were okay and adding an apology afterwards too. You take a deep breath, it was now or never. You press dial and call Carmilla.

She’s not picking up. Was she asleep? You were about to call Carmilla again when Laf’s name fills your screen. You answer the call now suddenly worried.

“Laf? Hey is something wrong?” It was hard not to sound concerned.

“L, you better come to the house quick.”

“What, why? Is Carmilla okay?”

“No, no nothing like that. You just really need to see this.”

“Laf if you won’t tell me what’s going on I might call 911.”

“No need for that. You’ll understand once you get here.”

You huff in frustration. “Okay fine I’ll be there.” You hang up and head straight to Carmilla’s house.

 

\--

 

It only took thirty minutes for you to arrive at the house. You don’t even bother knocking and open the unlocked door. 

“Laf?”

“Hey, over here.” Laf says from the top step and motions for you to follow them.

You quietly walk up the stairs. You’ve never actually seen the entire house. Hardly the upper floors so you aren’t surprised that you’re a bit nervous.

“Where’s Carmilla?”

“She went out. Something about dealing with her sister.”

Carmilla went to see Mattie? And you weren’t present to help her through this. You sigh. Carmilla’s stronger than this. You know she’s going to be fine. 

Laf leads you to the top floor and stops in front of a white door and faces you. “This is Carmilla’s studio.” They announce and open the door.

You swallow a bit. You’ve never been inside Carm’s studio. This oddly made you tense but thrilled at the same time. You brace yourself and enter the room.

The room was filled with paintings, unfinished and finished. Bright light came from the roof which was made of glass. You chuckle. This studio was obviously Carmilla. Vintage _and_ modern.  
“Carmilla painted something before she left.” Laf tells you. “And I think it’s her magnum orpus.”

“Magnum orpus? As in her greatest work?”

Laf nods and moves away revealing a painting behind them. No friggin way. You walk closer to the painting and just stare in awe. 

It was a painting of you and Carm during the art clinic. How she captured the picture so perfectly you have no idea how. It wasn’t even the technical artistry of the painting that caught your attention. It was more of the sentiment it represented.

How it practically made you feel a swirl of emotions. Like lightning hit your chest or a shooting star fell on your head. You trace Carm’s laughing face in the painting. 

_Beautiful._

If back then you didn’t know how to name the feelings in your chest yet, now you knew exactly what it was. And you plan on telling Carmilla everything about it.

“I need to see her.” You suddenly announce.

“Then what are you waiting for?” 

 

//

 

The coffee cup on the table provides you a bit of warmth in contrast to the cold tense ambience right now. Mattie is sitting across you but you haven’t said a word since you got here. What were you supposed to say? Hey Mattie, thanks for suddenly disappearing from my life then popping back in when you want to.

Mattie sighs. “How are you doing Bella?”

You clench your jaw and say nothing. Actually this doesn’t shock you at all. You know Mattie very well and you know she’s not the type who asks for forgiveness. But that’s also one of the things you love about her.

“My life has been shit since you left Mattie. But…” You sigh. “It’s time I stop blaming everyone else for the crappy things that have happened in my life, including you.”  
“That’s very bold of you sis.”

It wasn’t anyone’s fault, you realize this now. There was enough blame for all. Thinking about it now, you didn’t care about what happened in the past anymore. Laura taught you that.  
“I learned to let go.” You simply say.

Mattie smirks. “My my, how did you learn that?”

This time you give a sincere smile. “An annoying shrill of a girl taught me.”

“Ma Cherie, have you finally met your match? One who truly challenges you?”

“If you asked me that before I met her I would have called you stark, raving, mad.” You chuckle at the thought. Laura ought to have a hurricane named after her after how she swept your life from underneath. 

“Now this is a girl I would like to meet.”

“She would love that.” That is if you finally find her. 

 

\--

 

Mattie leaves ahead and you find yourself walking up the hill to your sketching spot without even thinking about it. You’re pulled away from your thoughts though as you spot a familiar figure sitting in your bench. You press your feet forward and dash towards her.

You’ve never ran this fast in your life. But you didn’t care, the girl you loved was there right in front of you. And you would run across the ends of the earth as long as you get to be with her.  
Laura stands up once she sees you and you stop just in front of her. You’re heaving and you try to catch your breath a bit. “Well that was a kick.” 

Laura just lounges herself on you and hugs you which you return almost immediately. You wrap your arms around her like she could disappear if you didn’t hold on tight enough.  


“Hey.” Laura says once she lets go of you.

And you can’t help but smile back. “Hey.”

“Are you okay? It seemed like you ran a hundred miles. And I’m sorry I hugged you so hard it’s just that… “

You move closer to her attempt to stop her rambling your body pressed fully against hers. It doesn’t work. Her lips were really close now and your eyes just linger on them.

“And I know that you’re probably going through… a lot of stuff with your sister…and it’s just that…”

God this girl. You hold her face and just press your lips against hers. Laura’s mouth moves with yours and you slide your hand up her back. Laura’s fingers brush up your arms and lock around your neck pulling you impossibly closer.

“And I know I ran away and I’m so sorry for that and…” Laura rambles again as you break apart.

“Shut up, just shut up.” You say as you pull her in for another kiss which she happily returns. It got harder to continue as you both couldn’t contain the smiles on your faces. 

You lean your forehead on hers and just stay in the moment. You can feel your chest hammering in your chest and Laura’s warm breath against your skin.

“I know what I did was wrong.” Laura sighs as she tells you.

“Cupcake.” You take a hold of her hand and bring her to the bench. “You know, I used to use hopelessness as an excuse for all the awful things that happened in my life.” You give her a smile. “Until this prissy little overachiever unraveled me. And yeah, you are struggling and flawed and uncertain but it is so beautiful the way you _try_.”

She’s giving you an odd look. “What?” You ask.

Instead of talking, she presses forward and leaves a soft chaste kiss. “I don’t want to pretend that what I feel about you is some stupid frothy thing that doesn’t matter.” She says so softly. “Because it is like the axis that my world turns on. And yeah we can talk ourselves out of it because this is scary and hard. Trust me I tried, but I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

You can’t help but smile at her words.

“I love you.” Laura murmurs, honesty laced in her voice. “Why shouldn’t that be something good?” 

_I love yo_ u. Laura Hollis loves you.

“I love you too.” You finally say back. All the tension leaving your body. Your shoulders are lighter. Your mind is calm. And your heart is whole again.

Look at where you are. Look at where you started. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought this would happen. But it did, and there’s nowhere else you would rather be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it took me longer than I thought to write this chapter. I tried my best not to make it look like an eight year old wrote it (reminding you I'm an illustrator and this is my first fic xD)
> 
> Still hope you enjoyed that! Two more chapters to go!
> 
> Also, I based Carm's house from another BTS reference, check it out if you want to [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEMaH9Sm3lQ&index=4&list=PL_Cqw69_m_yzbMVGvQA8QWrL_HdVXJQX7)


	9. Spring Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acceptance and domesticity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me a while to write. Turns out I don't know how to end a story but hey it's here :)) enjoy!

_Warm._

That was the first thing you recognized as consciousness tries to take ahold of you. You try your hardest to stay in the serendipity of sleep and pull the warmth closer to you.

A chuckle.

Your eyebrows knit together and you faintly feel a touch unravelling your frown. You finally open your eyes slowly and adjust to the harsh light coming from your window.

“Good morning sunshine.” Carmilla’s smooth voice says from behind you. You turn to face her and just bask in the feeling of waking up next to Carmilla.

“This is an early Christmas miracle.” You say with a smile that Carmilla replies to with a raised eyebrow. “My broody girlfriend awake in the morning before me.” 

_Girlfriend_. God it felt so good to call her that. 

“For your information it’s already one in the afternoon, cupcake.” She informs you.

Huh. This is probably the first time in a long while that you woke up in the afternoon. 

“Can you blame me? Someone kept me up last night.” You tell her knowingly.

“I remember.” Carmilla smirks back at you and leans in for a kiss which you accept graciously. Kissing Carmilla was always exciting but now you felt other things too. Wanted. Safe. Loved.

 _Carmilla Karnstein loves you._

And you love her back just as much. “I love you.” You say as you pull away. “Still love me?” You couldn’t help but ask in the end.

“More than ever.” Was her answer. Damn it. How was this girl so smooth? You couldn’t help but press your lips together again and just relish in everything Carmilla. She traces her tongue over your lower lip and bites them softly that it makes you moan. You pin her down on the mattress and move to kiss her jaw going lower to her neck.

Carmilla’s phone suddenly starts ringing but you both chose to ignore it. There are more important things to do right now. But then the ringtone sparks up another time and Carmilla just groans and picks it up from the bedside table.

“Hello?” She says so grumpily it makes you laugh. “Danny?” 

You look at Carmilla questioningly as you faintly hear Danny’s muffled voice over the phone.

“Ohh okay. Yeah we’re coming over.” Carmilla says and hangs up.

“What did Danny want?” You say as you stand up and gather your clothes strewn all over the bedroom floor.

“An art curator is at the house. Wanted to see some of my artworks to feature at an upcoming gallery.”

“Carm! That’s awesome!” You step back into her space and hug her tightly while peppering kisses all over her face. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks, cupcake.” Carmilla chuckles. “Actually Danny also wanted you to come along. I think she wanted to talk to you.”

“Ohh, okay. We better get ready then.” You tell her suggestively and turn to walk to the shower. Carmilla’s mouth was open in surprise when you turn back to look at her. You grin at her and just exit the room. 

It took Carmilla two point zero seconds to get over her shock and run to the shower after you. Needless to say you two took more than usual to get ready. The art curator could probably wait a bit more.

 

//

 

“You owe me fifty bucks.” Laf tells Danny once you and Laura enter the house hand in hand.

Danny looks over at Laf and exclaims. “Holding hands does not mean they’re dating!”

You just look at them both raising an eyebrow. “What did you two dimwits bet on now.” 

“The time when you finally told Laura how you felt.” Laf tells you both. “So I won right?”

You roll your eyes. “Actually, I won.” You pull Laura in for a kiss and grin at how you catch her off guard. “Laura Hollis loves me back.” Your grin spreads as Laura furiously blushes. 

“Ohh, gross.” Laf exclaims.

Laura laughs at them and you couldn’t help but laugh along with her. It was hard not to with this ball of sunshine.

“Come on, let’s not keep the curator waiting any further. You two are late as it is.” Danny announces.

“Well someone here took her time in the shower.” Laura says beside you.

“If memory serves me right, you equally enjoyed that time in the shower.”

“Get a room!” Danny yells from inside the house.

You and Laura just laugh it off and follow them further inside.

 

\--

 

The art curator, Melanippe Callis, loved your works. Especially all your Laura inspired works. Needless to say, Laura was equally parts flustered and flattered once she saw all your paintings of her.

Mel gave you her card and said she’d contact you soon for updates on the exhibit. Never did you think your life could be mended like this. You think as you watch your friends and girlfriend chat over anything under the sky at Perry’s café. 

Laura heads over to sit next to you on the bar stool. “What are you doing brooding all by yourself?”

You chuckle at her comment. “I was just thinking about the time we met.”

Laura looks at you curiously. “You mean about that time you recognized my stalking tendencies?”

That makes you laugh wholeheartedly. “Hey Laura, why’d you photograph me that day?”

“Well…I felt magnetized to you.” She looks up thoughtfully. “It was like a storm of emotions were swirling inside of you but your body couldn’t take it anymore.”

You hold her hand and she gives it a light squeeze. “You looked hollow that time Carm, it was heartbreaking.”

“Ohh cupcake come here.” You pull her in for a hug. “Look around, look at where we are, look at where we started.”

She smiles up at you as she understands the reference. “Thank you for letting me be part of your narrative sweetheart.” You tell her.

Laura leans in for a soft kiss. “As long as I get to stay in yours too.” 

You two just grin like idiots. Idiots in love.

 

//

 

“Here you go.” Your dad says as he hands you a mug of hot chocolate. You smile at the overflowing amount of marshmallows in it.

“Thanks dad.” You reply accepting the cup.

“So when did you and that Karnstein kid start dating?” He casually asks you.

You choke a bit on your drink and raise a hand to signal you’re okay when he tries to get up and help you. “How did you know about me and Carmilla?” You ask a bit incredulously.

“Pumpkin, your feelings for her were literally overflowing from your photographs.”

That gets your attention. “You… you felt that?”

He smiles a bit sadly then. “I always feel something whenever I look at your photos Laura.” He visibly sighs. “I’m sorry I haven’t been great at expressing that.”

“No dad, it’s okay. It’s just… I know how hard it was for you to support my chosen career after what happened with mom.” Your voice breaks a little at the mention of your mom.

He shakes his head. “You continuing as a photographer should have nothing to do with your mom. I know that now. And I’m not proud that I needed a snarky kid to point that out to me but I’m still grateful.”

“Wait, Carm told you that?” She mentioned meeting your father on the day of your exhibit but you didn’t know a lot more happened.

He chuckles deeply. “She made me look at you and only see you, not a shadow of your mother or anyone else, just you. I’m sorry for not recognizing that until now.”

“It’s okay dad. I don’t hate you for it.” You move in and give him a hug. 

“You’re great at what you do Laura. You can tell a story much better than I ever could and I am very proud of you.”

You smile genuinely. “Thanks dad.”

He then grabs his wallet and takes something out. “Here, I wanted you to have this.” He hands you a photograph. You accept it and you feel your eyes welling up at the sight of the photograph in your hand.

You were probably five and you were holding up your first camera, the one your mom gave you. “You kept this in your wallet the whole time?”

He nods his head. “Ever since that time, I knew you were going to be the photographer I could only dream about becoming.”

You hold the photograph close to your chest. It was time to let go of the old memories that shackled you. You deserved to be happy with your new family.

“Thank Carmilla for me will you?”

“Of course dad. I want you to formally meet her too.”

“I would love to pumpkin.”

 

\--

 

You find yourself heading over to Carmilla’s house after you left your dad’s place. Carmilla was at the kitchen… cooking?

“Are you actually cooking?” You say as you walk behind her and loop your arms around her waist leaning your chin on her shoulder.

She chuckles. “Yes, cupcake. It may be a surprise but I’m actually a great cook.” She turns around in your arms to give you a proper kiss.

“That’s it, I’m moving in with Danny.” Laf announces as they enter the kitchen. “You two are sickeningly domestic.”

And it’s like the mention of Danny’s name conjures her up because you suddenly get a call from her.

“Hey.” You greet as you answer her call. “What’s up?”

“Hey Laura, what do you think about France?” Danny asks you immediately.

“Uhm, I’ve always wanted to go France, why?” 

“Because our magazine wanted you to be the photographer for our next photoshoot in Paris.”

“No way!” You squeal in delight. “I’d be happy to do it!”

“Awesome Hollis. I’ll call you again later for the details.” Danny says and hangs up.

“So what was that about cupcake?” Carmilla pauses her cooking preparations to pull you closer to her by your waist.

“Guess what. I’m going to France!” You tell her about the call and you just couldn’t contain your excitement.

“That’s great cupcake. I’m so proud of you.” Carmilla tells you sincerely.

“So maybe this is sudden and I don’t know if you would want to but…”

Carmilla cocks her eyebrow at you. “What is it sweetheart?”

“Do you want to maybe…come with me to France? I mean if you want to. I’m totally not pressuring you into this. It’s just I wanted to spend more time with you and I thought that maybe going to France together would be great.”

“Laura, breathe.”

You do just that because being nervous took a lot more oxygen that usual.

“I would love to go to France with you.” She smirks. “And besides, there are tons of hot girls in France. Gotta keep you away from them.” She teases.

“Like I’d ever look at them anyway.” You lean your forehead on hers. “I’m done with other people Carm. I’m here to stay.”

“I’m not going anywhere unless you were there too.” She kisses the top of your forehead and you just feel so warm inside.

“Hey lovebirds, maybe turn off the stove before having a moment if you don’t want to burn the house down.” Laf addresses you both and Carm just chuckles and gets back into cooking.

You give her one last kiss on the cheek and try to help her cook. Emphasis on try.

Laf was right, this felt oddly domestic and you didn’t have a hard time imagining this as a daily occurrence. 

It felt a lot like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chap guys! The last chap is gona be more of an epilogue tho :))
> 
> Special thanks to my girlfriend (who will probably only be able to read this after a week, COME BACK HOME ALREADY T-T) anyway, without your persistence, patience and encouragement, this fic wouldn't have reached whatever it was today. 
> 
> And of course, thank you to everyone who actually read it, ya'll make my day with your comments and messages :))
> 
> As usual, you can reach me over at tumblr [here](http://betteroffwithart.tumblr.com/)


End file.
